Dictator or Sergeant....well that depends.

WHY is my parent/child relationship changing in real time as we are learning to homeschool?  I knew we would have some adjusting time.  I knew that there would be hard days and bad days and awesome days and happy days.  I was ready for that.  What I wasn't ready for was the shift in relationship that we are experiencing.  Several, several times, when asked why we are doing something or in what order will we proceed for the day, I have replied, "Who is the Sergeant and who are the Privates?"  They each reply in their devastated little voices, "you are the Sergeant......".  I get into a place where I don't want them to question me; I know they wouldn't have done that when they were in public school!  So, I take one step too far sometimes and turn into the Dictator.  It's all about what I am saying to do - they are not allowed to comment, ask or decline, just do as I say!  What??!!  That doesn't even sound like me!  Remember me?  The fun homeschool momma who just wants to go to museums and learn about bugs and run around the town in a Mary Poppins kind of way????  What happened to her?  I think somewhere along the line, real life happened.  Not only do we not have the time to run around the town, studying random things as we run into them, but there is something called "curriculum" that keeps free spirited homeschool mommas under a certain amount of accountability.  It's a GOOD thing.  Once I get this curriculum stuff all figured out and become much more comfortable with it, I think that fun homeschool momma will be able to come out and play every now and then.......my battle-weary kids look forward to that day.